There will be excruciating moments in your life that will change your entire world in a split second. These moments will change you - just like they changed me.
They can change you for the better. Let them make you stronger, more loving, and more compassionate.
This knowledge has allowed me to overcome seemingly impossible obstacles more than once. My story is evidence of the innate power and inspiration we all possess to live boldly, passionately, and thoroughly.
You may feel challenged by this, but I say this with the utmost love – I have altered from feeling so depressed that I didn’t want to get out of bed to cultivating the life I have always wanted. So can you.
There is no legitimate excuse for you not to overcome any limitations that have held you back from achieving everything you want for your life.
For years, I had multiple reasons for wanting to change my life, but it was my painful breakup in 2019 that ultimately triggered my spiritual awakening. My deep pain became the perfect catalyst for me to begin my journey of healing and self-growth.
This breakup was the final straw. I couldn’t ignore my need to heal anymore. So, I made it my top priority to recover and reclaim my power.
As I started envisioning mastering myself and my future, my perceptions of what was possible for me and my life began to change. To understand how I came full circle, I must return to the very beginning.
As a little girl in Slovenia, everyone adored me and always said how cute, bright, and full of life I was. I smiled a lot. I was inquisitive – I wanted to know about everything around me.
On the surface, my childhood appeared to be excellent, and I had big dreams for the future. However, beneath the smiles, there were missing pieces. My first true heartbreak was the death of my twin brother just a few days before our first birthday.
Shortly after, my father walked out of my life, becoming my second great heartbreak. I missed out on growing up with either my brother or a strong father figure.
Growing up without either a brother or a father figure has left me with many heartbreaks.
Ten months after Alessandro stabbed my heart and left me bleeding, I met someone very special.
Deep down, I knew I was not ready. I knew I was not yet healed, but I liked him. I said to myself, “Put your beautiful smile on your face and fake it until you make it.”
One of the hardest things for someone with an abandonment wound to do is to let love in. You open yourself up to the risk of being hurt or betrayed or, worse, abandoned all over again.
I couldn’t open my heart to him because I was so scared to be hurt again. I couldn’t love him the way he deserved and desired because I didn’t love myself.
I couldn’t connect with his heart because I was not connected with myself. I was afraid to show him how much he meant to me because I was terrified of being rejected again.
I simply knew I was not ready. Despite me not being ready, we spent a beautiful summer together. Then, sadly, we broke up. I was sad and disappointed – he treated me like a princess and hugged me like no one else.
However, I knew he had come to my life to help me see my underlying foundational wounds.
I realized I was afraid of intimacy, but I completely own up to it and am ready to release it. It has been barricading me for my entire life. I just wasn’t aware of it. I was deeply traumatized by the absence of my father.
Nevertheless, I didn’t realize the impact that this had on my stability in my everyday life. My essence. My womb. My FEMININITY.
Only now can I see that I have grown a tremendous amount of resentment and feelings of abandonment from these experiences, causing me to create a masculine wall of protection so that I didn’t have to face these traumas again.
So, I decided it was time to let go. Instead of guarding my heart and hiding it away from the world, I chose to open up, and be vulnerable enough to let people in.
Every morning, I got up, stared at my reflection in the mirror, and promised myself I would do things differently. As I would study my features, I would commit to relearning how to feel and how to truly love.
My heart longed to wake up. I had not been living, I had been existing… and I was done with a halfway life.
I was choosing a new path, one of self-discovery, self-love, and self-fulfilment.
This journey of my transformation has been anything but easy. First, of course, I shed a lot of tears. But every time I cried, I comforted myself.
I somehow managed to tell myself that the tears flowing were cleansing my heart, so I knew I was closer to healing my heart every time I cried.
Today I know that my soul was calling me to make a drastic change in my life – to follow my passion for spirituality, intuition, and the journey of the soul purpose.
Now, I look back with immense gratitude for the incredible gifts that time bestowed upon me.
I would do all of this over again in a heartbeat, just to experience the incredible insights and growth I gained on this journey.
Without this painful experience, I may not have discovered my spiritual path and may not have had the opportunity to develop into the person I am today.
Nothing happens to you. Everything happens to you. Everything happens from you. Through you. For you. And you can choose what to do with it.