From Breakup to Breakthrough
Hi, I’m Nina Dali. I’ll take every area of your life to new levels of success and fulfilment by creating new plans and supporting them with meaningful actions to help you reach your goals and dreams.
I know that you want to do more with the skills and talents you possess, but you don’t know where or how to begin – please read my story.
I embarked on the journey of transformation because I went through a painful breakup. I am sharing my story with you because it’s evidence that obstacles can be overcome. A lot can be achieved in the process of transformation, regardless of where you are in your life right now or how difficult the challenges may be.
Before I dive in and tell you about my own journey, I want to remind you of a very important truth: We don’t always have control over our circumstances, especially those leftover from our childhood, but we can change our perception of those events in a way that helps us to move forward powerfully.
I had so many reasons why I needed to transform my life, but my painful break-up became the perfect reason. I made recovering from this breakup my top priority at that point in my life. I envisioned mastering myself and my future and I fell in love with self transformation, and thus began my journey.
So, If I could go from feeling so depressed that I didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning to creating the life I have always wanted, then there is no legitimate excuse for you not to overcome any limitations that have held you back from achieving everything you want for your life.
I wanted more than anything to be free of the past and happy in the now. This meant that I needed to resolve some issues from my past.
As a little girl, everyone adored me and always said how cute, smart, and full of life I was. I was a very curious girl – I wanted to know about everything around me and I smiled a lot. Yes, my childhood appeared to be excellent and I had big dreams for the future.
However, something was still missing. My first true heartbreak was the death of my twin brother, just a few days before our first birthday. My father also walked out of my life shortly thereafter, which became my second great heartbreak. I missed out on growing up with a strong father figure in my home; my mom and I were left on our own in the world.
As a little girl, I could not understand what happened. Luckily, my mother was an amazing and supportive woman. Whatever I have achieved in my life I owe to her: she worked so hard to enable me to do all the amazing things I did as a kid. Her hard work let me experience music school, playing tennis, and skiing.
Even though we struggled financially, my life was pretty much carefree until I was 12 years old. It was at this point that I first met my tennis coach – I adored him and saw him as the father figure I had been longing for.
Even though we couldn’t afford his normal rates, he went to great lengths to find a way to teach me anyway. He had an ulterior motive that I wasn’t aware of as a little girl, and I believe that this is where my biggest struggle with money beliefs and self-doubt started.
I still remember the embarrassment I felt with not having amazing tennis clothes or shoes and not having a great car – it made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. I could never really express myself, which meant that I didn’t notice a deep, developing anger inside me. Behind the scenes, my coach was also sexually abusing me, which did nothing to help the situation.
Tennis was my life, my safe space, in spite of the abuse from my coach. Playing tennis is a very competitive activity which worsened my temper, eventually changing that cute little girl into a more aggressive one.
Then when I turned 21 and couldn’t take the sexual abuse from my coach anymore, I stopped playing tennis. I never told anyone the actual reason why I suddenly ended my career and only later would this unpleasant experience have a profound effect on my personal life and my feelings around relationships and intimacy. It left a permanent mark on me (or so I thought).
I always wondered if this would have happened if I did not have issues with money; feeling like I was poor and missing a father figure may have changed the situation. I also know that attitude towards finances and money scarcity can be one of the hardest things to shift. After I quit tennis, I could never find the same passion again in my life. I was lost and kept looking for myself; I kept searching for my higher purpose.
In August 2011, I read a book entitled EAT, PRAY, LOVE and it encouraged me to start fixing myself and achieving my dreams. I realized I would need to move out of Slovenia and out of my comfort zone. London looked like my best option, but I had a love/hate relationship with it. I had moved there previously, a few times, but I never stayed. Even though I felt Slovenia was too small for me, it was still home.
I knew many people and life there was pretty easy, so I would always move back to that feeling of security and certainty, seeing as I could not make up my mind. One bad business decision later, I lost everything. I had to sell my coffee shop which I had run for seven years, and I was devastated. However, this situation forced me to re-evaluate my life and decide to make a change. I wanted to take charge of my life and my future, and I could only do that in London.
This unfortunate situation motivated me to move from Slovenia. I was optimistic for the future, but it was still a struggle in the beginning. In London, I was working in a coffee shop, which obviously was not my dream. I kept applying for jobs, but they all wanted prior work experience; no one knew where Slovenia was, and they likely imagined it was a poor, undeveloped country. My university degree and my past job experience seemed worthless to them.
I remember walking around Wimbledon, tears streaming down my face. I only needed someone to just open the door to new opportunities and I would make sure the rest would fall into place. I could not understand why no one could recognize my potential and this made me feel frustrated, unseen, and unheard.
After a few years, I had had enough. I didn’t want to live in a small, moldy room anymore – I was generally tired of it all. So I decided to move to Rome, Barcelona, or Vienna, where at least I could learn a new language.
But then, I met someone. He was an Italian living in West Kensington, where I first moved after I arrived in London in 2011. We met on the tennis court, my safe space, it was like something out of the movies. I fell in love with him.
He was living with his daughter who just lost her mom a few months earlier. I felt totally blessed knowing that I would do my best to make a difference in her life. I was really confident that we would end up being a beautiful family. All I knew was that he had rescued me from my little room.
My life appeared to be squared away, until the day he broke my heart – literally – my world fell apart and I went through hell. I felt like I failed; I blamed myself and could not forgive myself.
My heart was bleeding and I did not want to live anymore. I was so hurt, lost, and devastated. I had just lost my dreams, and I thought I would never smile again; I could not imagine rebuilding my life.
A few months later, after waking up every morning with unbearable pain, I decided to stop acting like a victim. I saw it as a challenge instead and decided to adopt this challenge as an opportunity for self-transformation. I made the decision to get past the hurt and move forward with my life.
The break-up was a very painful experience in every way, and I finally had no choice but to face myself honestly. I needed to step out of my comfort zone. Again.
Instead of continuously suffering, searching for answers, and longing for closure, I decided to embark on a journey of self-growth and create my best possible future. I wanted to willingly move forward. I got help. I learned. I healed. I grew. I made changes.
I decided to work on myself like never before, leading to an incredible journey of self-discovery and personal transformation that would forever change me.
I could have chosen to stay in bed and dwell on my break-up, but instead, I decided to take action by creating my new life – because I am the creator of my world. I started to wake up every morning with the thought that something wonderful was about to happen to me.
It wasn’t always easy; some days I just wanted to stay in bed and cry. And I did. A lot. But every time I cried, I comforted myself. I somehow managed to tell myself that the tears flowing were cleansing my heart, so every time I cried, I knew I was closer to healing my heart.
The turning point, I believe, was my realization that without this break-up, I would never have questioned myself and started this journey to improve myself. I had been comfortable, believing that I was perfectly fine. But that was very far from the truth.
I had a lot of healing to do from the wounds inflicted upon me from my childhood. These wounds had hindered me from living my best possible life. I realized that I needed to rediscover myself and start all over again.
I became fascinated with self-growth and self-transformation, but most importantly, I found my higher purpose and passion. I wanted to be an inspiration to people: I wanted someone to look at me and say “Thanks to you, I didn’t give up.”
While in that relationship, I looked like a happy person on the outside, full of energy and content with my life. This journey made me realize that I had been missing out on being truly loved. I missed out on having a deep connection to him.
Our entire relationship was superficial. I knew I wanted more from life, but I settled for less because I felt comfortable. I had a lovely flat, I was working from home and I loved being my own boss. I tried to ignore the fact that so much was missing.
I could not imagine my life any differently. I knew that I was missing out on true love, but I was not brave enough to walk away. This little, scared girl was afraid of being alone.
Deep down, I felt very unfulfilled. I was trying to find out who I was and my true purpose in life. I wanted to bring myself out of this situation because I knew that I could do better. I believed I could live a more fulfilling life, but something kept holding me back.
I was living a life that I was profoundly unsatisfied with, but I did not know how to escape it. I felt stuck: things were OK, but I wasn’t where I wanted to be.
Deep down, I knew I was capable of so much more than the life I was living. I knew I had the potential to accomplish something extraordinary, and I needed to unlock that potential. I always had the desire to create new projects, but people would often criticize me because they believed I was unfocused and uncertain.
But the truth is, these people did not understand the real me. They could not stop me or break me. I knew that I could move mountains if I wanted to.
Then I met Jay, my business coach, and with him came a whole new sense of hope. Amazingly, between him and I, the most beautiful thing happened – a real connection and understanding.
He recognized my significant potential and allowed me to dream big; he truly believed in me. He basically just affirmed what I had always known: that I am a leader with great vision. I was never meant to stand in someone else’s shadow; I was built to shine.
I quickly started to understand that I am the only one responsible for my life and my future. I stopped holding myself back and gave myself permission to powerfully pursue anything I wanted.
This self-transformational journey was anything but easy. I shed a lot of tears…and the most painful tears are the ones shed for a person you thought would never hurt you. Self-transformation was not just about changing myself: it was about shifting myself to an entirely new perception.
For a long time, I was dwelling on the past because of my fears. I needed to heal my inner child, to repair the feeling of being lesser, poor, abused, and rejected. I felt like I was not good enough because I could not speak English perfectly in London. I was weighed down by my fear of failure.
I needed to find that cute, smart, hopeful little girl with the big dreams. Without any fears. Pure. As we are all born. Perfect. Without any self-beliefs. As a baby, we live in the present, without any fear of obstacles. This is what I needed that little girl to know. I promised her that we would be ok – more than ok.
All of these thoughts led me to the realization that I wanted to become a very successful Transformational Coach. I learned that my foremost responsibility was to love myself and to know that I am enough.
I realized that you could never meet your full potential until you truly learn to love yourself. Self-love is essential.
I also learned not to search for that one person that will change my life, but to look in the mirror and see the person staring back at me as the only one that could bring the change I needed. I was born to be real, not perfect, so I learned to celebrate and praise myself. I also learned to be proud of myself. I have come so far.
Now, I look back with immense gratitude for the incredible gifts that time bestowed upon me. It instilled in me a deep trust that the universe did actually have my back and a greater plan for my future. I would do it all over again, in a heartbeat, for the incredible insights and growth I gained through what were most definitely my darkest hours.
Without this painful experience, I may not have discovered my spiritual path, and may not have had the opportunity to develop into the person that I am today. I know this transition was not about becoming someone better, but about finally allowing myself to become who I have always been.
Without my pain, you would not be reading these lines, which I hope will be a great inspiration and help you discover that there is an opportunity for transformation and growth in every disappointment.
Don’t be afraid to dream big. You can have it all.